Trip to Freedom
Tuesday, June 27th, 2006First of all, I’m sorry Doray… This isn’t one of my light, carefree blogs. 
Probably in two weeks’ time, there will be.
This is actually a delayed account…
On the afternoon of the 27th of April, 2006, one of my ward patients decided to stop her heartbeat. Being the panicky, tension-filled MD that i am, i rushed to her SD bed, carelessly not thinking of bringing my WHOLE bag with me. Okay, we were able to revive her, but a few minutes later, i thought frantically, “where the f— is my bag??”
As expected, kaput. No trace of it, or its contents, namely: wallet (with not much money BUT with my PRC license, driver’s license, credit cards, ATMs, PICTURES), iPod (my free iPod shuffle, which is gone FOREVER), Palm, my favorite compact powder (haha, kababawan), 20 pcs of Fenofibrate for my mom, among others.
Days 1 and 2 post-loss of bag, i was doing OK. But come Day 3, i was shocked to find myself sobbing desperately. Not just for the loss of possession, but more importantly, i felt stripped and betrayed. I had no hard copy of my identity to speak of. I’m overworked, underpaid, doing my freaking best para itawid ang mga tao sa kamatayan, and yet, some person in my beloved hospital decides to take advantage of an opportunity.
Knowing me, questions suddenly branched out… Why are we taking all these shit? What drives us? Is it masochism? Good training? Being comfortable in a familiar place? Emotional fulfillment? et cetera. Suddenly, all idealism left me. I found myself becoming heartless and desperately wanting to leave.
I wasn’t the same since that day. What happened may be mundane compared to life-shattering events of other people, but it was definitely a turning point for me. In what way? you might ask. There are two sides to this turning point (forgive me if malabo, but what the hell):
1. Shit happens. Glitches in the system affects people at random. It’s just another shitty day in paradise. Siguro naman, in the next few days, hindi na ako mawawalan ng bag. Slash, magdala ng nondescript bag. Bottom line: i’ll just get on with my life. Send to file folder: Bad Stuff to Forget.
2. Maybe i just need some time away from this place. Yes, it’s a glitch, but things MIGHT be clearer if i took a break for a while.
Hence, i’m taking a short, paid sabbatical. 5 days lang naman, but it SHOULD do the trick.
3 days till Freedom grabs me by the balls!!
Coming soon: white water rafting pics.
